Monkeys and Quad Bikes. The perilous art of negotiating your employment package.

We told the kids what is happening and now they are dying to tell their friends but they have to wait until the contract is in the banker's hot little hands. Signed, sealed and delivered. Then they can tell.

The thing is that even though the banker felt we shouldn't tell them, I have disagreed. I wanted them to be involved with this decision from the beginning as it affects them as well and learning, to my mind, is not just about school. It is also about learning how to make decisions, weigh up options and think about consequences.

We asked each of them to write up lists of the pros and cons for each move we have contemplated over the last few months and their answers have been really interesting.

Hong Kong - this was a possibility and the children raised concerns about SARs, the possibility of a second 9/11, the Bali bombing, Osama Bin Laden and apartment living. They were also concerned about the cost of living but the fact that dim sum was available was a very big plus as were swimming and snakes. Proximity to Australia was also a plus as were cheap taxis.

UK - mad cow was a concern as was wind, rain, damp, fog and the fact that life here is boring. On the positives we had potatoes, roast dinners and mud. Another negative was the fact that there is little snow but this also featured on the positives side as we do get some snow.

Australia - positives included relatives, sun, beaches, cousins and kookaburras. Coles New Farm got a mention. On the negatives Australia was unknown to them and they thought they might get teased as they have English accents. They also thought they would be crap swimmers compared to their friends and they woud miss moules et frites from France.

Vietnam - pluses included wearing strange hats and riding motor bikes. Negatives? Bird flu.

Thailand? Lots of curries and noodles and elephants. On the negative side, being hot and sweaty, far away from friends and having to learn another language.

The thing is that they all have their dream posting and we have had strong lobbying from all of them over the past few months.

H was particularly keen to do a posting to India as she has been studying rain forests and she fancied herself the proud owner of a tamarind monkey.

Z just wants to stay put. He loves it here - the sense of community and the open spaces.

B, on the other hand, just wants to go to boarding school and doesn't really care where the rest of the family lives as long as he heads off to his chosen school with his mates.

I filed all of these lists with the banker's papers and I can just imagine him pulling them out at one of these negotiation meetings.

"Well thanks for the offer of the posting to .... but is there any chance of adding a monkey or a quad bike to the package?"

Would have made for an interesting look on his employers' faces at the very least.

Wicked fun!

I have to keep this quiet and it is driving me crazy. We just need to wait for the official announcement to be made and then we can tell people but I am sick of having the same conversation fifteen times a day.

"So where are you guys going? Do you know yet?"

I like the fact that they care enough to ask but after you have had your fifth conversation on the same subject and it is not even 9am you start going a little bit weird.

I find my first conversation is very polite and I get progressively more imaginative and creative as the days goes on - the provocative part of me wants to jolt people. I cant help it.

"Actually we are really keen on getting a post to Kazakhstan now that we have all watched Borat."

"I am keen that the children don't get a traditional English school education so I am exploring boarding schools in Thailand - their sport would be elephant polo which will hold them in SUCH good stead in the future."

"We are thinking about really challenging the children and picking a hardship posting to really stretch them intellectually and emotionally. Have you got any recommendations?

"I am exploring home schooling."

"We are getting divorced. Do you know any single rich men?"

"Actually, we are leaving the children here as they are so happy. Would you like to board them? We'll pay of course but they just seem so happy it would be a pity to uproot them at this stage in their education.

Such wicked, wicked fun.

I know where we are going.

Finally, resolution. I know what we are doing and where we will be living. I know what the bankers new job will be and what is happening with children and their education. Everyone has done their negotiation, they have scrabbled and scrambled and hands have been shaken and contracts drawn up. The banker is happy and excited which is excellent.

The only thing though - I can't tell anyone anything until Friday when the contract is signed, sealed and delivered and the announcement made.

Bugger.

Legend Man

The banker threw me a surprise party the other day. He planned the menu, invited the guests, arranged for friends to fly over from London and chose the theme. He printed up photos of me over the years and decorated the room with them. He bought banners and balloons. He organised for friends to write on the photos and bound them into a booklet. He kept the secret and never let on anything instead telling me we were having a quiet evening on our own.

What an utter legend of a man.

Really fucking insane

Things are insane right now. Really and truly fucking insane. This morning was Hong Kong. And then an hour ago (10:30am) the banker received a phone call from Australia regarding a change of career. A total change of career. So now, I am looking at Australian schools, places to rent, property to buy.

To me this feels really depressing. Really normal. Really dull. It feels like things will be over. The end of an era. I don't want to do this. I don't want to finish this lifestyle of moving and travelling. I don't want to have to be like everyone else. I like the joy of new places and new opportunities.

And I am trying really hard to be supportive and cope with this but I am getting told we are living in three different places a day. I don't care anymore. None of this has anything to do with me anyway. It is all about him and what the right move will be for his career.

It is all really, really boring.

The ongoing saga

Too wiped to write.

Too sick of the machinations to even think about this.

Last night we were moving to HK in ten weeks, having to think about HK schools again, accommodation, education catchment zones, car boot sales, selling winter coats and planning farewells.

This morning the negotiations are on again. So today I am reviewing houses to buy and rent over this side of the world.

Lets see where we are by the close of business today.