Talking at a dinner party last night I was surprised by the confusion about what the term corporate wife means to different people. Carol, a 40-something lawyer, had invited us to her house for Irish tagine and had asked one of the women around the table if she had to do the whole corporate wife thing.
"What do you mean?" said the woman, an orthodontist. "I don't have to do any of this because I have my own career."
Carol then asked whether this still meant that she had to entertain or could she opt out.
Fiona replied that she had opted out.
My husband said that he thought the whole corporate wife thing was outdated which caused a big flurry of debate.
Fiona's husband strongly disagreed and said that in Switzerland and in Germany it was still very much a career expectation that you will socialise cook and entertain at home to help the career of the dominant earning spouse, usually the male.
Me? I said that I thought the definition was a wider one than simply cooking. To me, it means the fact that I have to be involved in my husband's career at all. And I have to do it well. Occasionally I will be asked to attend a function and be as charming as I can. Listen to people that I would rather not necessarily listen to or talk to. Be engaging. Be polite. Be kind.
Some of those things are what comes easily if you are a naturally gregarious person but at times it does feel like I have to put the face on so to speak and do the whole wife thing. At those times I feel very much like the corporate wife.
And as for cooking, I think I would do his career more harm than good if I had to prepare the meal. Far more politic to put me in a restaurant where we can all laugh and enjoy the meal without the mess, cost, and fussiness involved
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